Accountability

So I started counting calories today. I've never done it consistently, but I've decided I really need to do it in order to make sure I'm on track. And so far it's been very eye opening. Plus, I really have to think about what I'm putting in my mouth. If I don't want to add those calories to my daily amount then I can't eat it.

I guess I realized that with my weight, I've not wanted to be accountable. I think that's why I've never done any plans where you have to go to meetings, like WW. I've always wanted to do it on my own, without help. But obviously that hasn't worked. So now I'm accountable. No big weight loss plan, but I started seeing a counselor yesterday. (That's a whole different story!) But we talked a lot about my weight and the two things she asked me were to stick to 1800 calories (or less) daily and no fast food (my big downfall). I don't see her again for 2 weeks but I'm determined to go back with a "good" report about how I've done.

Geocaching

I went geocaching today. What is geocaching? It's a high tech game that uses GPS coordinates to find hidden items, all over the world. It's become quite popular and a lot of people have actually heard about it by now.

Why is this important? I used to LOVE to geocache. Before I had Jenna, I would go all the time. I started in late 2004. Currently, I've found just over 2000 caches. When I first started, I would go almost every day that I had off. I loved it. I loved finding hidden things in plain sight, or finding caches that were associated with history, or finding caches that would just show me something or someplace really interesting that I would have otherwise never have found.

So why is it so significant that I went today? I've gone a few times here and there in the past few years. But today, today was MY day. I have a meeting at work tonight, so I dropped Jenna at day care this morning, and I decided that I was going to do what I wanted. No cleaning, no laundry, no bills, nothing like that today. I was going to get back to what "I" loved to do. It was about me. No one else. And I think that's key....I need to work on myself, bettering myself. But in doing so, I have to find me again. I'm not just Jason's wife. I'm not just Jenna's mom. I'm not just a nurse. I'm Kate, and I love geocaching. So dammit, I'm going to do it every now and again. Just me, myself and I. Because it reminds me of ME.

It's been awhile

So it seems like I haven't blogged in forever.

Life has been a little nuts for the last 6 months or so. We moved back to Fort Worth, bought a new house, both started new jobs and Jenna started day care. Everything has been a good change, but it's still been stressful. Especially with Jenna starting day care. I had a really, really hard time with it at first. It took awhile for me to feel comfortable with it. And the poor kid has been sick a lot too...which means I have been sick, Jason has been sick and it's been a rough couple months.

I'm really just getting back into cooking on my days off, and walking on my days off. My hospital system currently has a "Shape Up" challenge going, so that's helped with my walking, as one of the things we're measuring are pedometer steps.

It just takes so much focus for me to eat right and exercise, and I've been struggling a lot. Back in October 2010, I had lost almost 35 pounds. Then I gained about 25 of that back. Today I've lost 15 of that 25. So I am doing better, but every day is still a struggle.

I've also been really, really stressed out lately. I yell too much...at Jenna, at Jason, at anything. I'm working a lot more than I ever have since Jenna has been born, and that's been tough to adjust to. When we moved from Tyler, I didn't realize that leaving a couple good friends would make such a difference, but it has. They had become my sounding board and seeing them a couple times a week helped me a lot. My friends here? Unfortunately, I haven't seen them hardly at all since moving back.

So I think my journey has now become more of a journey towards the person I want to be, and weight is just a part of that. I want to be a better wife, a better mother, a better friend. I'm not even sure what that all entails. But I know I need to work on me.

Hopefully starting to blog again will help.