Updated scrub pictures!

I got a BUNCH of scrubs from one of my coworkers who has also lost a lot of weight.  Finally fitting into them well.  The first picture is from December 2011.  The second, from tonight.  I didn't think there would be such a big difference but there definitely is!

Feeling good and planning for the big 100!

Great weigh in this morning...my weight loss total is up to 90.4 pounds!  Wow.  I've been hovering between 85 and 90 for so long that I'm happy to finally get over that hump.  And it makes me more motivated to keep going!

So now I have to start planning on my reward(s) for 100 pounds lost.  And there are definitely going to be some rewards!  Originally, when I first started this, I had said at 100 pounds lost I'd like a makeover and a date night with my husband.  But, I think I'll push that off for a little bit.  Maybe when I reach my original goal, which was 125 pounds lost.  I don't want to spend a lot of money/buy new clothes when I'm still hoping to drop a size or two.

One reward is definitely going to be a BIG bouquet of flowers.  From me, to me.  I love fresh flowers and I had been buying a bouquet for every 10 pounds I lost.  But the last couple times I've lost 10 pounds (gotten into a new 'decade'), I've decided to wait and buy a BIG bouquet of flowers.  What can I say, they will make me smile!

Another reward is going to be some gambling.  Let me be honest, if I lived nearer a casino I would probably have a gambling problem.  I love playing some slot machines.  But I try to only do it once, maybe twice a year.  I went this year on my birthday and actually won, but I think I'm going to have to do it again!

And a third reward will be new running shoes.  The shoes I have now work okay, but they are getting worn. And I want to start getting more serious about running.  My plan is to start running 5Ks again in September, probably run one a month, and then hopefully work up to a 10K in February.  I want to get fitted for running shoes, to make sure I don't have any weird things going on with my feet or the way I run, and then I'll be buying some new ones!

So that's the plan for now.   Exciting times!

Progression pictures

So it's still taking awhile to see the scale move down consistently.  But I've been going through old pictures, and that helps.  I've posted some of these before, but I like having them from beginning to now.  This first one was fall of 2010, I think.  Or early spring 2011.  Close to my highest weight, definitely.

In all the next ones, I'm wearing the same shirt (don't think it would have fit in that one above!)  This next one is at 247 pounds.  Probably last summer sometime, not sure of the exact date.

The next is September 2011, at 228 pounds.

Ooh, this is getting kind of fun!  :)  The next one is March 2012, 205 pounds.

And the last one is this morning...look at this picture, compared to the last and guess how much I've lost in the last couple months!!

Surprisingly, I'm only down to 201.4 in this picture.  What a HUGE difference in appearance, even though the scale only shows a 3.6 pound weight difference.  Pretty dang proud of that, so I thought I'd share!

Look how far I've come

June 21, 2010.  That was the day that I weighed the most I ever have.  288.4.  Dang.  288.4.  And now it's 2 years to the day that I weighed my most, and I thought I'd look back at how far I've come.

My weight now?  200-ish.  Not quite where I was hoping/wanting to be at the 2 year mark, but dang it, I'm still damn proud.  Almost 90 pounds lost in 2 years.  Pretty impressive, if I do say so myself.

I've gone from a size 24 to a size 14.  I've lost 10 inches from my chest, 9 inches from my waist and 11 inches from my hips.  I know I've lost inches other places too, but let's be honest, those are the big 3!

I'm SO much healthier.  2 years ago, I was on blood pressure medicine daily, and even with that medicine my blood pressure usually ran higher than 140/90.  Since March of this year, I've been off blood pressure medicine, and at my last doctor appointment, my blood pressure was 122/77.  My resting heart rate, which used to be in the mid 90s, is now in the mid 70s.  I had a general physical in March, and my blood work was perfect.  Even my cholesterol was good....in the past, it's been as high as 240.  In March, it was 171.

I've started running (again).  I was a runner for a couple years in high school.  I was on the track team and ran the mile and 2 mile races at every meet.  I wasn't very fast but I was still a runner.  But I hadn't run in a long, long time.  Since February of this year, I've run 5 5K races, one of them being a 5K obstacle course!  I don't run very fast and I'm never even close to winning a medal, but I run the whole race without stopping and my time keeps improving.

I work out 3-4 days a week.  The only reason I don't work out more is I refuse to exercise on the days I work 12 hour shifts!  And I joined a gym in December of last year and started working with a trainer.  Thanks to his help, my strength is growing and I'm doing things I didn't know I could do.

Maybe the best change in the last 2 years?  Not so much a change, but a realization.  My daughter, who is just 3, is quickly learning what it is to be healthy.  She enjoys being active and she knows that it's important for us.  If she can grow up with that attitude, I've gotten her a great start in life.

So 2 years in to this journey...it's had ups and downs, but definitely more ups.  I'm the healthiest I've been in probably 10 years, and I'm so proud of myself and happy with how far I've come.  This has really become a lifestyle change for me, and I can't imagine going back to the old life.  No way, no how.  This is SO much better.

It's not all about the numbers

As I've lost weight over the past number of months, I have gotten more and more fixated on the "numbers". I'm obsessed with the scale. I calculate and recalculate the amount of calories I'm eating versus the amount of calories I'm burning. I'm starting to think I've somewhat replaced my food addiction to a weight associated number addiction.

I'm struggling lately. I'm VERY close (less than 5 pounds) to another number, a major milestone...weighing under 200 pounds. But it seems like the closer I get to that number, the harder it is. Or am I sabotaging myself? I don't know.

So I've decided to take a break. From the numbers. I'm not going to weigh myself until March 31st. That's just under 2 weeks away but that date in itself is an important one, because it's my second 5K. It's going to be a struggle to stay off the scale but I need to do it, for my sanity.

I'm also (and this is a biggie for me) going to take a break from logging my calories on myfitnesspal.com. I've become WAY too dependent on that website. I KNOW what I need to do to be healthy. I know how I need to eat. I know I need to exercise. And it's time for me to see if I can do it on my own, without the scale, without the website.

I'll be honest. I'm not sure how this is going to go. I'm not sure if it's a smart idea. But I just feel like I need to make some changes and think about my health, not just the numbers.

In it for the long haul

Wow, I haven't blogged in over 2 months. Not too sure why, but let's get back into it!

December 10, 2011. At my last weigh in, I was 218.0 pounds. That means I have now lost 70 pounds! I'm thrilled and excited about how I look and feel. Just last night I got new scrubs in the mail, another smaller size. And they fit! Things are good. I made it through October (Jenna's birthday and our anniversary...easy to get off track and stay off track, as I did last year) and through Thanksgiving (ate what I wanted but got back on track pretty quickly.)

This week I have made a couple significant changes. First, I joined a gym. LA Fitness. I was going to be methodical, visit a bunch of gyms and use trial memberships to see what I liked best, but I joined the first one I visited. Once I get an idea in my head, I just go for it. So I joined there a couple days ago, and today I had a session with a personal trainer. (I got one free when I joined.) I found out my body fat percentage, 40.2%. Yikes. I KNEW I needed to start strength training but I didn't realize how badly!

But the other big change I made has to do with that. I signed up for personal training. Twice a week for 3 months. I'm still kind of shocked that I did, but you know what....I've lost 70 pounds on my own, but I'm not too sure I can get to my goal without help. Could I have done it with just joining the gym and not having personal training? Sure, I bet I could. But this will help so much.

Accountability. That's what it's going to do for me, just like Myfitnesspal.com has done for my eating habits. It's also a huge financial commitment, so now I need to prove that it wasn't a mistake by signing up. That the money I spent will be well worth it.

I guess now I feel like I'm finally in this for the long haul. I'm not sure what I thought before, but I think putting money, a big chunk of money, into it, makes me realize this is serious. Not that it wasn't before, but...now I'm rambling.

The bottom line....good health is priceless. And if spending some money now can get me there, it will be worth it. I just need to make it work. For good.

The long haul. To my goal weight. To being fit. To getting my inner athlete back again. Here I go!

This time last year

This time last year, I fell off the wagon. Completely. The first week of October is tough, because Jenna's birthday is on the 2nd, and our wedding anniversary is the 7th. Both are major excuses to eat. But that's all they are. Excuses.

Last year, I let myself fall apart and got back into my old habits. And this weekend, I was not as disciplined as I should have been. But it could have been worse. Today was a great day. Ate very healthy and exercised some. Tomorrow and Thursday I work, so those days are usually easy to stay on track. I just eat what I bring and then have a small dinner when I get home.

Friday we're going out for lunch and then to a movie. And I think I'm just going to eat what I want. After all, it's our anniversary. But then Saturday, right back on track.

I will not let this week derail me again. I'm about 30 pounds lighter than I was at this time last year, so I've already come so much farther. And I'm not about to go back.