Sunday, March 18, 2012

It's not all about the numbers

As I've lost weight over the past number of months, I have gotten more and more fixated on the "numbers". I'm obsessed with the scale. I calculate and recalculate the amount of calories I'm eating versus the amount of calories I'm burning. I'm starting to think I've somewhat replaced my food addiction to a weight associated number addiction.

I'm struggling lately. I'm VERY close (less than 5 pounds) to another number, a major milestone...weighing under 200 pounds. But it seems like the closer I get to that number, the harder it is. Or am I sabotaging myself? I don't know.

So I've decided to take a break. From the numbers. I'm not going to weigh myself until March 31st. That's just under 2 weeks away but that date in itself is an important one, because it's my second 5K. It's going to be a struggle to stay off the scale but I need to do it, for my sanity.

I'm also (and this is a biggie for me) going to take a break from logging my calories on I've become WAY too dependent on that website. I KNOW what I need to do to be healthy. I know how I need to eat. I know I need to exercise. And it's time for me to see if I can do it on my own, without the scale, without the website.

I'll be honest. I'm not sure how this is going to go. I'm not sure if it's a smart idea. But I just feel like I need to make some changes and think about my health, not just the numbers.