It's been awhile

So it seems like I haven't blogged in forever.

Life has been a little nuts for the last 6 months or so. We moved back to Fort Worth, bought a new house, both started new jobs and Jenna started day care. Everything has been a good change, but it's still been stressful. Especially with Jenna starting day care. I had a really, really hard time with it at first. It took awhile for me to feel comfortable with it. And the poor kid has been sick a lot too...which means I have been sick, Jason has been sick and it's been a rough couple months.

I'm really just getting back into cooking on my days off, and walking on my days off. My hospital system currently has a "Shape Up" challenge going, so that's helped with my walking, as one of the things we're measuring are pedometer steps.

It just takes so much focus for me to eat right and exercise, and I've been struggling a lot. Back in October 2010, I had lost almost 35 pounds. Then I gained about 25 of that back. Today I've lost 15 of that 25. So I am doing better, but every day is still a struggle.

I've also been really, really stressed out lately. I yell too much...at Jenna, at Jason, at anything. I'm working a lot more than I ever have since Jenna has been born, and that's been tough to adjust to. When we moved from Tyler, I didn't realize that leaving a couple good friends would make such a difference, but it has. They had become my sounding board and seeing them a couple times a week helped me a lot. My friends here? Unfortunately, I haven't seen them hardly at all since moving back.

So I think my journey has now become more of a journey towards the person I want to be, and weight is just a part of that. I want to be a better wife, a better mother, a better friend. I'm not even sure what that all entails. But I know I need to work on me.

Hopefully starting to blog again will help.

New Year, new start! Let's go!

So I HAVE to get back on track. I've been off the wagon, so to speak, for about 3 months. Terrible. I've gained a lot back. I'm not sure how much but I'll weigh tomorrow. But I'm not sharing 'cause it's too embarrassing. But I WILL get back to where I was and further! Look out skinny clothes, I'm coming for you!

Life gets in the way

One thing I've realized is that eating healthy/exercising has to be a priority for me, if not THE priority, in order to succeed. And for the past month, it hasn't been. Life has gotten in the way.

A lot of big changes are happening right now, which are very wanted and very exciting, but also stressful. We have lived in Tyler since August 2009, but in the past few months we decided we wanted to move back to the Fort Worth area. Jason has been trying to get a job, with the government, and he still might get one but it's a LONG process. He started applying for a government job back in January. Almost a year ago.

So we had thought we'd wait for him to get a job before moving. Our lease is up here at the end of November, but we thought we'd pay month to month, hoping he'd hear something soon. Then things changed. We went to Fort Worth for our anniversary in October, and we decided to look at a couple of houses. We had planned on just looking to get an idea of what's out there, but we fell in love with one. It's pretty much our dream house.

Then we decided that I could work full time and Jason could stay with Jenna until he heard about a job. I thought I would get a job overnight. Literally, overnight. It's happened to me before. But it didn't this time. It took me about 3 weeks to even get an interview, but I did and got a new job. I start November 15th.

Now I realize 3 weeks is not long at all, but we needed one of us to get a job so we could qualify for a loan on the house. It was a LONG 3 weeks.

The tough thing is now, I'll be in Fort Worth, staying there while I work and then coming back to Tyler on my days off. We're hoping that we can rent the house starting at the end of November, because we probably won't close until mid or late December. Then I wouldn't have to drive back and forth.

So all these things are going through my head...starting a new job, moving, leaving Jenna for days at a time, getting all our financing in order for the house, closing, leaving my current job and still trying to eat healthy and exercise.

I'm hoping once I start my new job, at least that part of life will have settled down some and I can devote more time to being healthy. 'Cause right now, it's hard to find the time. And like I said, I know it needs to be a priority. Just hoping I can make it one sooner rather than later.

Move scale, move!

Well, it's taken me awhile, but I finally feel like I'm getting back on track. This week has been good...walking every day, drinking my water and even (attempting) a weight/toner DVD. But the scale isn't moving much and I'm trying to remind myself that it's okay, it will move eventually. I'm starting to lose my patience with that dang scale so someone remind me getting back on track WILL show on the scale, eventually.

Week 17, off the wagon completely

I've succeeded in falling back into my bad habits completely. Haven't exercised in days. Eating crap, crap and more crap. Not drinking enough water, heck hardly drinking any water at all. It's been about 2 weeks now that I've been resorting to my old habits, but I'm ready for it to STOP. I feel disgusting, sluggish, bloated and fat. My mood is terrible. I'm not sleeping well.

This started with Jenna's birthday weekend. I let myself go a little out of control, but then I didn't reign it in when Jason and I went away for a few days. And while we were away for those few days, we decided to really start trying to move back to the DFW area, which means finding a house and a job. While we wait for Jason to find out about a job, I can start working full time. And we found a house we loved, but now I'm still waiting to hear about a job. And it's SO stressful. And that's why I haven't even tried to be healthy. It's just easier not to.

But I'm tired of it. I'm ready to get back on track. I need to. I want to. These next 6 weeks are still going to be stressful, but I'm hoping and praying it doesn't get the best of me. I was off to a great start. I don't want this to be just another time where I lost some weight, hit a rough patch and then gained it back.

But I'm scared that it's going to be that. I hope I have enough strength to get through it.

Week 16 weigh in: Um, oops.

So I knew this week would be bad, with Jenna's birthday and then going away with Jason. I did well the first part of the week, but when Jason and I went away, all my good plans went to hell. I did weigh myself this morning, but I'm not posting it. I gained quite a bit, but I know most of it is due to the sodium content/water retention of all the eating out we did.

I'll weigh again next Sunday, as usual, and count it no matter what, even if it's still showing a gain. Time to get back on track now.

Week 15 weigh in: weighing early

I have been weighing myself on Sundays, but this week I decided to weigh myself Friday. This weekend is going to be busy with my parents arriving today, Jenna's birthday tomorrow and her party Sunday. I know in those couple days we'll be going out to eat a couple of times, and that's why I wanted to weigh today. I'm not worried about my food choices, because I still plan on eating well, but the sodium amount in restaurant prepared foods is SO high. And I know that will cause me to retain water, so I'm "cheating" and weighing early!

And this week was good! I lost 2.2 pounds, up to 34 pounds total.

This next week is going to be tough...besides the activity this weekend, Jason and I are going away for our anniversary next week. Again, more eating out. But I'm determined not to go crazy and stuff my face, and I'm going to keep exercising every day. Even so, I'm not going to be surprised if I don't lose next week. This week I'm just going to concentrate on making good choices, and I'm not going to rely too much on what the scale says. That's the plan!